Inside: Are you actively trying to get pregnant? This post is jam-packed with the best resources and tips for TTC – the very ones I used to successfully get pregnant myself. Also hear my personal trying to conceive journey, and why I won’t be doing it again (even though we were successful).
If you’re reading this, you are either a beginner TTC’er or you’re back to square one because nothing is working.
My husband and I struggled through the ups and downs of actively trying to conceive for nearly 2 years. I can tell you first hand- IT. IS. ROUGH.
Today, I am giving you the tricks of the trade. But, I also want to explain why we will never try to conceive again.
So let’s make a baby! Well… YOU can, with these tips for TTC.
Note: If you are not a Christian, you may not be as interested in my personal story (and why we aren’t TTC again). That’s perfectly alright. If that’s you skip straight to the tips!
Why I Won’t Be Using These TTC Tips Again (Despite Success)
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I have battled in prayer over the content of this post. I didn’t want to post helpful tips on trying to conceive when we have decided that we don’t want to try to conceive again.
But, my friends, I know that you deserve answers because you WANT to know anything that will possibly help you to get pregnant.
Before I jump into the tips for TTC we used, I’ll give you a little insight on our TTC journey to give you insight into why I won’t do it again.
Trying to Conceive & Trying to Trust God
I got baby fever BAD after I had a “pregnancy scare” early in our marriage. We had originally planned to wait a full year before starting to have kids but… no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the desire for a baby.
I wanted a baby NOW!
Soon enough, we were both on board and started trying to conceive. I figured since I was young that I would get pregnant really fast. Wrong.
6 months later, I
started getting was frustrated. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get pregnant? God, what are you doing?
Oh how easily we get mad at God when He doesn’t deem to comply with our plans.
Fast forward a year and I was going through counseling because of the deeply rooted obsession I had with having a baby.
It was so bad that I was having anxiety attacks, severe mood swings and was depressed.
Counseling helped me to release some of the overwhelming emotions that I had. I started to learn coping mechanisms to help me when we would have yet another failed month of TTC.’
…. Wait, wait. Slow down. What? Coping mechanisms? Anxiety attacks?
Yes! Emotional lows become the reality for many women that are trying to conceive- including me.
Each passing month felt like another failure. Another time that I had convinced myself that I had all the signs to be pregnant, then wasn’t. My heart cried out to God, asking why I wasn’t good enough to be a mother.
I questioned God in His plan for our life. Why won’t You just give us a child? You know my desires. Lord, how many times do I have to ask?
Looking back, it is sickening to me how blind I was to the deception that a baby would fix fundamental trust issues in God’s plan for me!
That is why we will never try to conceive again.
What Trying to Conceive Revealed in My Heart
After I [finally] got pregnant, I had a lot of heart work to do.
I was so wound up in bitterness that I couldn’t freely thank God for his gift to us. Shamefully, I admit, I was mad at God for making us wait for a baby.
It’s become obviously clear to me that I am not very good at doing God’s job. Ha! Why did I ever think I should take the lead in the first place?
After much prayer and reading in God’s word, we have come to the decision to allow God to be God – even in our family planning. That looks silly when it is written out so plainly, but the reality is that in life we pick and choose what we allow God to be in charge of.
We pray over what job to take, which house to buy and who we should marry… but when it comes to our fertility, we get a little handsy. Both in prevention and in conception, let us open our hands, and wombs, to God’s control.
Why is it that story after story of TTC’ers sounds similar to mine?
We tried to conceive for many months (or years) then when we let go of control, we got pregnant.My Dear Friend Abby (Scroll down for her TTC story)
Because God will wait until you’re ready to watch Him work miraculously. He wants us to have the blessing of receiving a gift from Him instead of us striving for what we want from Him. He is a God who loves to give us good gifts. (Psalm 127:3)
Before we jump into the TTC tips, if you are a Christian, I urge you to study the word of God about this topic. Pray about it!
Ask God to show you what His plan is for your family’s reproductive planning.
A Friend’s Tips for Actively Trying to Conceive Naturally
Gear up for a flood of information! I’m going to share with you all the things you should buy to get ready for TTC, and then what you can actually do differently in your *ahem* love life to offer you the best possible chance to conceive.
7 Things to Buy When You’re Actively TTC
While you don’t necessarily need to buy (or to join, in some cases) all these things, these are what helped me when we were actively trying to get pregnant.
I hope they help you just as much!
1. Take Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler
This book is basically the textbook of fertility.
You can learn everything you from how chart fertility to how to avoid pregnancy or how to achieve pregnancy (what we’re going for in this case).
2. Basal Body Thermometer
The first thing you will want to do is start taking your basal body temperature to chart your cycle. This will help you establish the pattern of your cycle and pinpoint when you’re ovulating.
Basic basal body thermometers work great if you’re getting consistent sleep and wake up at the same time every day. (You can find these at Walmart, too.)
The pain in the butt thing about charting, however, is you need to be pretty consistent. Much like taking a birth control pill, you’re gonna want to take your temperature at the same time every day.
But what if I have irregular sleep, you say? Fortunately, we don’t live in the dark ages anymore, and inventors still exist. There’s hope!
If that’s you, you’re going to want to check out Tempdrop because the basic basal body thermometers aren’t gonna cut it.
They’re perfect for night-shift workers and moms that are up with little kiddos. Or really, anyone who doesn’t want the hassle of daily scheduled temping.
With Tempdrop, you just put the band on and easily get your temp for that day. Sleep in if you want – TempDrop has your back!
Side Note: If you clicked over to the tempdrops and your eyes are glazed over from that price, I know. Me too. They’re pricey.
But hey, they’re a heck of a lot cheaper than IVF, amiright? Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.
3. Fertility Awareness Method of Birth Control Facebook Group
I know, this isn’t a “thing” per se. But having support when you’re TTC is HUGE to not giving up or getting down as the months go by and the tests are still negative.
Get all of your questions answered and receive 1:1 help with your charts. Community is a BIG aspect of TTC. You are not alone in this! Join a group and get the support you need.
4. Kindara App
Kindara is a must-have fertility tracking app.
This top-rated app has great functionality and has a community board that is really helpful as well!
5. Ovulation Test Strips
Also called ovulation predictor kits or OPKs, you will be needing a LOT of these! Get them for SO much cheaper on Amazon.
Use OPKs along with charting to determine exactly when you’re ovulating to optimize for conception.
6. Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
Red Raspberry Leaf Tea is often linked to labor induction and postpartum recovery, so you may be wondering what it’s doing in a post about TTC.
Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (RRLT) tones the uterus and regulates menstrual cycles. It also optimizes women’s reproductive health as a whole.
After regular consumption of RRLT, your periods will become more regular and more effective. So not as many cramps and better cycles overall.
This article goes in depth into how Red Raspberry Leaf Tea works and is really informative- read it now!
7. Pre-Seed Lubricant
Other lubricants are not fertility-friendly like this one is.
Pre-Seed mimics good quality fertile mucus to ensure semen can travel all the way to the egg. (Now that’s some sciencey goodness for ya!)
Expensive, yes, but the success stories are amazing!
One bad thing is that it isn’t natural and contains potentially toxic ingredients.
If you have good quality fertile mucus, you do not need PreSeed. Save your money- God has given you the good stuff, use it!
6 Essentials Oils to Support Your TTC Journey
Essential oils are all the rage right now, I know. While they aren’t a cure all, who couldn’t use a little extra help?
Used properly, they certainly won’t hurt you. These are the ones that helped me most when we were trying to conceive.
I happened to purchase mine through Young Living, but you can find some of them through any of the other major essential oil company.
Those you can only purchase from Young Living are marked.
1. Clary Sage
Similar to Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (above), Clary Sage is a powerhouse for women’s reproductive health. It is one of the best oils to use for fertility.
Clary Sage regulates cycles and balances hormones. Read more HERE.
Yet, another reason to use Clary Sage: it works as a natural anti-depressant.
2. Progessence Plus Serum (Young Living)
This blend has been known to improve women’s reproductive health and increase fertility.
Here is one success story with the use of Progessence Plus.
This very affordable oil that you can find HERE (this is a trustworthy oil brand) has been shown to help relieve depression, anxiety, and stress when being used.
4. Citrus Oils
Citrus oils are very uplifting and energizing.
My favorite combination is lemon, Stress Away (Young Living blend) and grapefruit. You can also get Citrus Fresh from Young Living.
5. Joy (A Young Living Blend)
Joy is one of my absolute favorite oils. I wear Joy as perfume most days because of its heavenly, happy scent.
6. Valor (A Young Living Blend)
Valor gives feelings of courage and a can-do spirit.
7. Stress Away (A Young Living Blend)
The name gives it away- this oil helps the stress to go away! This is my second favorite oil for mood.
Stress Away has a yummy vanilla smell but is light and citrusy as well.
4 Practical Tips for Trying to Conceive
1. Have timed intercourse every other day based on predicted ovulation day.
While having daily intercourse can lower sperm count, spacing it out too far will increase your chance of missing your small ovulation window.
2. Start charting (like, yesterday).
As you already read, charting will become an integral part of your success trying to conceive. Scroll back up to read what you need to get started.
3. Stay healthy.
Enjoy exercise, eat well and focus on getting your health into tip-top shape.
4. Enjoy your husband.
Try to keep the “try” out of trying to conceive. (That’s a lot of trying. Ha!)
This journey can turn making love into a chore. So, don’t let it!
Spice things up and surprise each other with new things. Enjoy the act that’s gonna add one (or two?) more to your family.
Seriously, don’t let TTC ruin a crucial part of your relationship.
Celebrate your marriage!
Abby’s TTC Journey: From Worry to Faith-Filled Joy
One of my dear friends kindly sent in her story. She shares what God has done in her heart during her season of waiting for a baby.
My journey started after my 28th birthday. My husband and I had been married for several years and decided we finally reached a relatively comfortable place in our lives to start a family of our own.
Growing up in a house full of estrogen (one of 4 girls), I never imagined I’d have any trouble trying to conceive.
I was about to get a huge lesson in patience, discipline, and trusting God.
I started down a road that would eventually lead us to various conception books and blogs, pregnancy apps, basal body thermometers, prenatal vitamins, countless ovulation strips and pregnancy tests, doctors’ visits and worries.
After almost a year of trying to control every variable, I decided to give up. Truthfully, it was liberating! I took time off from logging my every move and every symptom.
Finally, I decided to give it to God. I felt a lot of shame in not doing this sooner.
I am a devoted Christian woman. Active in my church and prayer life- but I allowed the world to influence me into thinking conception was up to me.
Before prayerfully lifting my cares and worries to God, I went to a dark place in my life. I’m a naturally positive person and it takes a big shake to break my spirit- but this experience was breaking me.
My first dark thoughts came from deeply rooted insecurities. I would think to myself, I’m not healthy enough. There must be something wrong with my body. Or, I’m not physically equipped for pregnancy.
I then allowed my mind to have further doubts. I’m not meant to be a mother. I’m not deserving enough. The mistakes from my past are catching up with me. I even thought that maybe God simply didn’t care.
It wasn’t until I started to hear the struggles of other women in my life, not just reading online, that I started to consider giving up control.
God placed these women in my life on purpose. A family friend at church sharing her story with me, a coworker, and a neighbor. All making me feel like I wasn’t in this alone.
There are many women, average everyday women, dealing with the same struggles that I was hiding for so long!
My husband and I started a new daily devotion together and returned to a lifestyle of consistent, meaningful prayers. We leaned on God for another year, finding joy in life together, just the two of us, all over again.
As I sit here writing this, with tears filling my eyes, I’m overjoyed. We’re expecting a little girl this coming summer and couldn’t be happier.
I have more gratitude and appreciation now for the miracle of life than I did two years ago, and God knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it.
While it certainly wasn’t easy to see the bigger picture or be aware of God’s plan, I now know the power behind giving up control and relying on Him.
During this time, the song “In His Time” gave me great comfort. I hope the words comfort you.
“In his time, in his time. He makes all things beautiful in his time. Lord, please show me every day, as you’re teaching me your way that you do just what you say in your time.— Maranatha! Music
Common TTC Questions
Please Note: I am NOT a licensed physician. I am answering these questions to the best of my ability based on my own personal experience. Make personal health decisions in consultation with your personal physician.
How can I increase my chances of getting pregnant?
Start charting your basal body temperature ASAP.
Get to know your cycles so that you can optimize when to have intercourse – try to have intercourse on the day you ovulate, but every other day otherwise.
Next, support your reproductive health. Start drinking Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, applying Progessence Plus and Clary Sage essential oil right away.
Eat well and exercise.
How long do you try to conceive before seeing doctor?
For women UNDER 35, with little to no reproductive health concerns- it is completely normal for trying to conceive to take up to a year. After 12 months of unsuccessful trying, consult a doctor.
For women OVER 35, or women with special reproductive needs, go see your doctor after 6 months of trying.
For Special Circumstances: When Should I See a Fertility Specialist?
What supplements should I take to increase fertility?
During my time TTC, I tried TONS of different supplements. Some, I researched/found online. Others were given to me by doctors that we saw to talk about our struggle trying to conceive.
None of them worked.
Each time I told a new medical professional what I had been taking they would laugh and explain that I shouldn’t be taking X, Y, Z. Instead, I should be taking A, B, C. Then, the next person would think A, B, C was weird. That, because of my symptoms, I should only be taking G and F.
In my experience, you should save yourself time and worry. Stick with herbs and essential oils!
What is the best way to get pregnant quickly?
I have bad news for you. There is no one way to get pregnant quickly.
What worked for her, may not work for you. And what worked for you, may not work for her. Even from one pregnancy to the next, there can be differences.
Buy the recommended products, follow the steps. While you wait, use this time to focus on your health and your marriage.
A Final Word About Trying to Conceive Naturally
While I will not ever try to conceive again (scroll up if you missed why!), I think it is valuable to share with other women the best tips to conceive naturally.
Mama-in-waiting, I see you. I understand your hurts.
Maybe, now is the time to take a step back and reevaluate your plan. Pray about it and decide if it’s time to surrender to God’s plan for you. Ask Him if you should move forward with one of these tips.
Tell us your TTC journey in the comments!
Kenzie lives with her husband and daughter in beautiful Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. She’s wrestled with infertility, survived a miscarriage, and is overjoyed to finally be a mama to her sweet baby girl she thought she’d never have. She especially loves helping moms who have had miscarriages find hope after loss.